I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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