god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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