i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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