YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You need a sexual gate keeper
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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