I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
