She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
