It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ttyl tear gas
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
