my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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