I want to walk on stilts...naked
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
