dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
