Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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