I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
