is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
