i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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