did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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