i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
