I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
