I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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