Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
