I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
