'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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