i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
