Just fell off a train. Bad.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
