I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
