At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
