He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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