I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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