i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
