If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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