do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
