So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
