yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
