Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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