walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you win again, gameday.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
