You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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