how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
