i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
