and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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