Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
