Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
