Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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