please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
