I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize