Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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