im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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