we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Bring me that man meat
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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