I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just tell him i said nine months
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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