How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
