hotel room ftw
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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