The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Text me some of your sweat
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