I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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