I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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