i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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