Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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