there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
