Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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