so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
