The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it's like iHOP with fire
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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