I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
